"Depressed Copywriter" is actually hilarious

It's a new advertising Tumblr. And some of the posts are depressingly funny:

It's like he or she is posting from inside every burnt out Copywriter's poundingly hung over mind.

Check out the whole psychological mess here.

Via Copyranter

Time cover features preschooler breastfeeding

Via BuzzFeed

So that was unexpected.

As the United States continues to struggle with the social and health issues around breastfeeding, Time Magazine decides to run a cover photo of a nursing three-year-old.

It's for a piece on attachment parenting, which we practice to some extent at our house (even though the boy weaned himself at about 20 months). I'm sure the picture is meant to shock some people who think breastfeeding a kid old enough to talk is weird or even perverse.

"Supermom" Jamie Lynne Grumet (the woman in the picture) told Huffington Post:

“When you think of breast-feeding, you think of mothers holding their children, which was impossible with some of these older kids. I liked the idea of having the kids standing up to underline the point that this was an uncommon situation.”

But hey — in the struggle to normalize natural baby feeding, such a prominent portrayal can only help.

My only question is, now that breastfeeding is considered "SFW" enough for the cover of Time, can Facebook stop calling it "obscene"?

See more photos from the shoot here.

McDonald's wants you to buy your kids' love with McNuggets

It's always been known that McDonald's real brand promise is "buy your children's love". They create this opportunity by marketing so effectively to kids that they think anything tastes better in a McWrapper. Then they sappily remind third- and fourth-generation McParents how great they felt when they went to the Golden Arches.

Knowing all of this, and as cynical as I am, I was still shocked when I saw this print campaign on Copyranter's Buzzfeed blog.

DDB New York has produced what may be the most blatant execution of McDonald's brand strategy by telling parents that even if they suck at making their kids happy, the anodyne is a quick trip to the Mc, where a few bucks worth of sugar, salt, fat and designer flavours will make it all okay.

Yeah, it's supposed to be clever and funny. No, I am not laughing. Especially in regards to the one where a little boy is abandoned in a dark soccer field because mom or dad simply forgot to pick him up:

Show some responsibility already, McDonalds and DDB. Or at least be a little more subtle in your evil manipulation of parental love. OK?

Parapornal activity #FdAdFriday

Horror hides in a box of porn...

Remember last Christmas, when Acart Communications did that Paranormal Activity spoof? We weren't the first to parody the horror franchise, and we won't be the last.

But I don't think anyone will ever make a weirder one than this:



This trailer was made to attract attention to Christian "Comedian*" Rich Praytor's campaign to make his big idea — of combining borrowed interest from Paranormal Activity, Poltergeist and other pop memes, bad jokes, and a morality play about pornography — into a feature film.

According to the Kickstarter page:

Why are we doing a project like this?     
Because films are not only entertaining but they're also a way to teach people.  Society learns their morals and values through music, film and television.  Pornography is such a huge problem that simply telling someone how dangerous it is usually doesn't work.  You have to tell a compelling story to catch someone's attention and then educate them while they're being entertained.  

Praytor promises to let big donors actually take part in the making of the film: For $250, you can "be apart [sic] of a creative brainstorming session with the cast and crew via Skype or in person (transportation not included)"; for $500, they'll name a character after you; for $3500, they'll fly you  to Colorado Springs to direct one of four scenes created from your ideas; $5000 gets you the Executive Producer credit.

But the best deal is the $7500 option:

"The director and two actors will travel to your location (continental United States only) for the day and shoot a scene you created. You will also direct the scene and spend the day with the team."
The subversive potential of being able to write and direct a scene in a low-budget Christian comedo-horror almost seems worth the money.

*And why did I put "comedian" in quotes?

Here is some of Praytor's earlier Christian comedy gold:




Tip via Buzzfeed

Does "pussy" have the same connotation in Estonian? #FdAdFriday

Without the benefit of Google Translate, my guess is "yes"

Via Copyranter, who notes that Elu24 is the country's largest newspaper.

It's part of a pudenda-obsessed poster campaign which, (this time with the help of Google Translate) is apparently causing quite a bit of controversy.

The martini and the trowel, apparently, do not translate...

Someone is actually trying to patent a bra purse

This Kickstarter project states:

"We have all fallen victim to the pocketless dresses and even the dress pants with fake pockets. However, Kyle and Mariah, two students at the University of Washington, decided to create a way to give women options, free their hands, and let them party without worrying about a purse getting stolen."

I kind of get it, as a secret stash for mad money. But how practical is this thing when the bouncer asks the woman for ID and she starts unbuttoning her shirt? (Although it would probably get her on the guest list along with a backstage pass.)

And how exactly is she supposed to answer each one of the 20 texts per hour that the average young woman receives*?

As of this posting, they have raised $3,235 of their $4,000 goal, with 19 days to go. So I guess this thing may make it to market. In which case, we may have to rebrand the "booty call" to an entirely different set of anatomy.

* I pulled this fake stat out of my ass

Tip via Buzzfeed

The only Chip Shop ad I like... #FdAdFriday

...is totally ruined by bad punctuation.

The Chip Shop Awards allow British creatives to show off how "edgy" they could be if it weren't for pesky things like client approvals, focus groups and basic human decency.

Many of them pander to the lowest instincts of cynical ad guys, with a good dose of racism thrown in:

And some good old toilet humour:

See more ads at Copyranter's Buzzfeed post, or go straight to the source

.

Crabs used to sell tampons #FdAdFriday

As Copyranter pointed out, "I'm pretty sure crabs and tampons shouldn't be in the same ad".



I guess it's pretty clever, if gross, to have the crab build beachfront crab condos out of plastic trash that has been there and done that. It's not as if sea creatures would complain about the...

...never mind.

Hot dog stuffed crust pizza is a thing now

That Pizza Hut unleashed this abomination will not surprise anyone. That it was Pizza Hut UK, not USA, that did it first, however, may come as a shock.

It also comes with "free mustard drizzle".

Gah. Let's just ladle some gravy on it and call it a day.


Via Buzzfeed and Gizmodo

Vince Neil turns to stripping to make ends meet

Hurl, hurl, hurl.

The former Mötley Crüe frontman is actually the owner of a strip club, aptly named "Girls, Girls, Girls."

And he makes really, really, bad ads for it:



"And why didn't he use the song in the ad?", you might ask. It was actually written by his bandmates, Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee. He probably didn't have the budget for it.

How the mighty (hairdos) have fallen...

Via Buzzfeed

Copyranter goes upstream, joins Buzzfeed

I've been following Copyranter's blog at Blogger for years. One thing I figured out, once I started one of my own, was that the only way to get good tips and leads was to go upstream, to Buzzfeed, Reddit, Fark, and all those other clearing houses of internet stupidity.

Now, however, Copyranter's Mark Duffy (whose last name I did not know until today) has actually moved himself upstream, taking his blog to Buzzfeed.

Smart move, and presumably he'll get paid for his work now. At least I hope so. But after being so used to the bare-bones template of his old blog, the change is a little jarring right now.

At least he promises, "you will still find 'fucks' and dirty, unfunny jokes and misanthropy and hyperbole." So there's that.

Update: In their coverage, AdFreak added a link to the "about" post I missed, which explains that Copyranter has actually quit agency life and even posed for a photo:

Yeah, fuck you too Mark. And best of luck!

Most cynical use of sex in advertising of the week

Okay, it's only Monday and this ad launched last Friday. But try to glean one spec of useful consumer information from this ad:



I guess this is pretty tame for a Kate Upton ad, though. At least she's not simulating sex with a burger in public,  erotically teaching a group of jocks how to use their fingers or using her breasts to win staring contests.

But at least those ads had some sort of concept, as exploitative as it was.

Via Buzzfeed

The lamest teen magazine of all time #FdAdFriday

First of all, do teens even read print magazines anymore?

Second, how cool is this?

No, this couldn't possibly be an indoctrination project by adults. I mean, teens totally idolize the United States' first black President... Ronald Reagan?!?

And speaking of black Presidents, there's also a handy guide to caricaturing President Obama:

And a warning about the morally corrosive forces of liberal media bias and gay-friendly TV shows:

I can hardly wait until the next issue, in which I hope they will tackle the big issues like evolutionism and slutty sluts who want free birth control so they can make our children into sluts.

Via Buzzfeed

Pornterest

Today, Buzzfeed published an amusing post about how the word "porn" is used on Pinterest (a social scrapbooking site where people gather favourite online images) to describe anything they like looking at.

And not just the trendy term "food porn" either:

"Fishing Gear Porn"

"Word Porn"

"Real Estate Porn"

What I found particularly amusing about this (besides the fact that someone innocently called their board "dog porn") is that this morning Jezebel had a post about the actual Pinterest of Porn, called "Snatchly". (The link is safe — it goes to a signup page.)

Worlds are colliding. Or, rather, "words".

But let's just hope this overuse of the p-word doesn't end in tragedy, when an innocent sweet tooth in need of some delicious Pudding Porn ends up instead conjuring up two girls and a cup over on the wrong network.

More unintentionally disgusting branding

Via Buzzfeed

Urban Dictionary: Cleveland Steamer (not for the squeamish)

It's not as obscure as most coprophilic sex acts defined on UD. This one entered popular culture via Tenacious D:

The naughtiest children's spoon-and-chopsticks set you will see today #FdAdFriday

"Happy Time" indeed...

Via Buzzfeed

WHAT-brown pants? #FdAdFriday

Via Buzzfeed

Yes, that's how they described them.

It is not, apparently, a hoax. The offending web site, by an Abercrombie & Fitch outlet that seemed to be in the UK (one would assume, from the prices) has since been taken down. But Google still has it cached, sans image (but with image tags still in place).

And there's this text:

"Abercrombie and Fitch brand has been attracting the young market to the greatest extent. They are in love with these products, for they perfectly suit their looks. The reason of success of A&F is the dedication, which you can see in its stitching, designs, detailing, fabric and color contrasting. It pays attention on each and every detail of the garments and accessories."

Note the bad English. And that's a clue to how this may have happened.

A&F, according to The Daily Mail, has nothing to do with the site and are probably the ones who got it shut down. The site was actually registered in China, where the counterfeiting of famous brand name  clothing is common. The Mail adds, "observers said the racist name given to the clothes could be put down to bad Chinese to English translation software."

So hopefully, it was not intentional. But it is still unfortunate PR for A&F, since they have been accused of intentional racism (and "lookism") before, including in a $50 million class action lawsuit.

Vytautas: Earth's Insanity Juice #FdAdFriday

This low-budget, epic insanity is for Lithuania's Vytautas brand of mineral water, boasting "The biggest amount of useful minerals". The English version of the ad pinged on the global RADAR this week when it appeared on Buzzfeed.



Although I can't speak the proud Baltic language, I find the ads even more outrageously, fascinatingly offensive to the all the senses in original Lithuanian:





I'm sure these ads have done about 12 things I regularly complain about here, but I am too busy stopping my head from spinning right off my neck to complain.

McDonald's attempts to manufacture another meme #shamrocking

Apparently not fazed by the #McDStories hashtag disaster, McDonald's is again attempting to seed its own "grassroots" social media campaign.

This time, it's a sponsored post on Buzzfeed, complete with amateur-looking pictures and a video.

The pitch:

"Have You Tried #Shamrocking Yet?
The Irish jig has been an expression of joy since the 16th century, and thanks to the hot new viral trend of #Shamrocking, it's making a modern day comeback. Check out some of these high-stepping #Shamrockers, then get out there and treat your friends to a shake and make them dance with delight!"

Irish stereotypes aside (since we're used to those in March) this retail appropriation of stupid photo memes like planking, horsemaning and tebowing is just asking for trouble. (Not to mention that the term "shamrocking" already has some disgusting and/or random double-meanings at Urban Dictionary.)



At least, I hope people will subvert this cynical attempt to manipulate people into creating free viral advertising. Otherwise, I may lose a little more faith in humanity.

Update: This story was picked up by AdFreak.

The best Jesus bumper sticker ever

Okay, so the copy's too long (and font's too small) to read while tailgating this truck in Alaska, but the message is still pretty clever.

Via Buzzfeed.