Beauty and the beastly business of quantifying it

The speed and temporary nature of social media feeds lead to some interesting contrasts.

In my Facebook newsfeed yesterday, I first took note of a Design Taxi link posted by Marc from Osocio about "The World’s Scientifically Most Beautiful Woman".

Here she is:

18-year-old student Florence Colgate has the most naturally perfect face, according to a British lifestyle show's nationwide search.

“Florence has all the classic signs of beauty,” Carmen Lefèvre, of The Perception Lab at the University of St Andrews’ School of Psychology, told The Daily Mail. “She has large eyes, high cheekbones, full lips and a fair complexion. Symmetry appears to be a very important cue to attractiveness.”

Along with — apparently — blonde hair, blue eyes and light, unblemished skin.

I won't even get into the Nordicism of all this. (The Mail actually called her "'Britain's most beautiful face".) There have been enough blogposts about that issue already. I'm more interested in the parts that sociobiologists have tried to rationalize.

For example, symmetry is seen as a sign of good genes and good health. Maladaptive mutations, as well as childhood disease and injury, can affect symmetry. It's seen as a way to advertise good health and disease resistance — in other words, that person is a good source of healthy babies.

The other features are ethnically specific. Blonde hair and big blue eyes are what are known as "neoteny" — that is, babylike features kept into adulthood. All humans are very neotenic apes, retaining our round-headed juvenile chimp features throughout our lives.

Via pbase

The loss of pigment that gave northern people lighter skin is also an adaptive mutation to absorb more vitamin D from less sun exposure. I personally believe that lightening of skin and eyes in parts of those populations came along for the ride, then got amplified by sexual selection because youth is attractive.

But Darwin I ain't.

The other link I was going to mention was actually directly above Marc's "beauty" link. It was a CBC story titled, "Ugly Meter app worries cyber bullying activists"

A smartphone app allows users to assess their own symmetry based on some unknown standards. It's like "Hot or Not", but without the subjectivity of human feedback.

According to uglymeter.net:

"How ugly are you? For over 3 million users, Ugly Meter has been the go-to iPhone App that won’t lie when it comes to determining how attractive or ugly you are. Just snap a picture of yourself (or someone else) in the app and hit the scan button. The Ugly Meter will scan your face and determine just how ugly you are and dispense advice accordingly. Ugly Meter then allows you to post the results to Facebook or Twitter."

I wonder about the ethnic standards of beauty behind this, too. Although my own northern Euro ancestry doesn't seem to have helped much:

I blame the lighting.

I tried a few more times, and found that the insults got pretty creative.

To test the baseline, I tried scanning a screenshot of Miss Colgate:

Clearly, the creators of this app and the people behind the British talent search read the same books. Or something.

But then what happens when I scan a head-on glamour pic of Iman, a woman so ethereally beautiful, she got David Bowie to settle down:

I must have held the camera funny. I'll try again:

Ummm...

But hey, there was nothing scientific about this (mostly because I don't have all day to fart around with my iPhone). If you don't mind giving them your 99¢, you can find out for yourself what "beautiful" really means.

(I'll update this post with more scans, as I get a chance.)

Adriana Lima

Grace Park

George Clooney (a reader request by Rachel)

Barbie

Sometimes, it just seems random. Watch what happens when I scanned the face of late-'70s David Bowie, two different times.

Was it the misplaced cursor that made all the difference? (Good thing I didn't shoot him in full Aladdin Sane makeup.)

Vulva jewellery? So that happened. #FdAdFriday

The Onion's AV Club has this to say about Grimes' (Claire Boucher's) new line of rings cast in realistic vulva shapes:

"Boucher's latest side project is a new line of jewelry produced with sculptor Morgan Black, the first product of which are the below "pussy rings." They are rings that look like vulvas. You wear them to declare your feminism, or your post-feminism, or your belief that feminism is a weak, old-fashioned construct embraced by those who don't have the vulvas to wear them right out on their fingers, which is fun or something. Or whatever."

Indeed.

"Stupid" new Diesel campaign celebrates tube tops, butt munchers, and crack army squads

Yep, that's stupid.

Via Ads of The World

Strip Facebook

It's kind of like strip poker, but on Facebook. And only the woman strips. And it's a cynical and sexploitative marketing campaign.

Stussy is a Dutch fashion retailer that has found a whole new way to exploit its female models. Instead of presenting them nearly nude, it lets its potential Facebook fans undress a model wearing pretty much every stich of clothing in the store. For every so many new "Likes", she takes something off.

The Daily What reports:

“As you can imagine, the model must be suffocating under that many layers of clothing,” said Colin Lamberton, creative director for Arnold Amsterdam, the agency behind the ad. “It is almost a public duty to free her out of this misery, so we are expecting Facebook fans to help out here. Like and undress.”

Yes, Colin. You are such a fucking gentleman.

The trick is that you, oh horny Facebooker, do not get to see how much she has shed until you "like" it yourself. In the interest of science, I sacrificed by social media feminist dude cred. Here's what I got:

Thrilling. This is at 1,127 likes. I suppose she'll be defying Facebook's shockingly prudish anti-nudity rules at about three quarters of a million. (TDW also mentions a sticky little rule that states, "You must not use Facebook features or functionality, such as the Like button, as a voting mechanism for a promotion." Oops.)

Luckily, if you're curious you can "unlike" this lame stunt just as easily.

This post was mentioned on Adland.

And now at Forever 21, kneecaps are out of fashion #FdAdFriday

Those photo editors are so afraid of curves, they don't even want to see a bent knee.

Via Buzzfeed

Apparently, pants are no longer fashionable in Spain #FdAdFriday

Since my last two posts were real downers, here's the cover of this April's edition of Harper’s Bazaar Espana:

According to Styleite, that's former Victoria’s Secret "angel" Izabel Goulart. But I seriously doubt those are really her legs. (Photoshop Disasters fans, can we get a ruling on this?)

And here I thought it was "the land of France" where "the ladies wear no pants".

WHAT-brown pants? #FdAdFriday

Via Buzzfeed

Yes, that's how they described them.

It is not, apparently, a hoax. The offending web site, by an Abercrombie & Fitch outlet that seemed to be in the UK (one would assume, from the prices) has since been taken down. But Google still has it cached, sans image (but with image tags still in place).

And there's this text:

"Abercrombie and Fitch brand has been attracting the young market to the greatest extent. They are in love with these products, for they perfectly suit their looks. The reason of success of A&F is the dedication, which you can see in its stitching, designs, detailing, fabric and color contrasting. It pays attention on each and every detail of the garments and accessories."

Note the bad English. And that's a clue to how this may have happened.

A&F, according to The Daily Mail, has nothing to do with the site and are probably the ones who got it shut down. The site was actually registered in China, where the counterfeiting of famous brand name  clothing is common. The Mail adds, "observers said the racist name given to the clothes could be put down to bad Chinese to English translation software."

So hopefully, it was not intentional. But it is still unfortunate PR for A&F, since they have been accused of intentional racism (and "lookism") before, including in a $50 million class action lawsuit.

Kate Moss ad sends four to hospital #FdAdFriday

And it wasn't for anorexia nervosa. Or even too much partying.

E! reports that four London pedestrians were hospitalized Wednesday when the hoarding on which a poster of the famously waifish supermodel collapsed on a busy shopping thoroughfare.

The newly-married Kate Moss has recently signed on as the face of Mango, and this ad was part of a series shot by Terry Richardson.


One fashion victim suffered a possible back injury, while the rest sustained minor injuries.

Thanks to reader Mark B. for the tip.

Die Antwoord sell out

But being Die Antwoord, they manage to drop about 20 f-bombs per minute as they shill for "T" by American designer Alexander Wang.



The South African hip hop group are known for their trashy Zef looks, intense beats, and potty-mouth lyrics. They famously quit their first major label deal with Interscope when it wouldn't release their song "Fok Julle Naaiers" ("Fuck You All") as a single.

Thanks to photographer and die-hard Antwoord fan, Tony Fouhse, for the tip.

Scary unpaid fashion internship ad #FdAdFriday

This listing for an intern to NYC Designer Natasha Morgan was posted by Free Fashion Internships simply as "an example of what an unlawful and noneducational internship looks like":

Copy reads:

We are looking for a kick ass personal assistant to designer to handle any task that comes .What would you do to get into the most exclusive industry in the world and be around some of the most incredible people you've ever meant.This is the dream of a lifetime for you . If you feel you have what it takes to assist a fashion designer that never sleeps and you can handle late hours and running around NYC for the most insane things and being called at the weeee hours in the morning and late at night then this is the internship for you.And trust me this will be the experience of a lifetime from being on the most insane photo shoots with celebrities to having meetings with the top editors in the fashion industry.If you live and breathe fashion and can commit to a UNPAID fulltime position for 3 months then the job is yours but you better be FIERCE ! This position is fulltime 40+ you must be open to weekends . This designer only sleeps 2 hours a day so be prepared!!! Send us a current FULL BODY PHOTO if you along with your cover letter and resume and a brief description on why you want to work for NATASHA MORGAN. If do not send your photo your resume will be DELETED immediately which means you can't follow simple instructions and we have no time for waste!NYC residents only 
Requirements and responsibilities:-20 and older-FASHIONABLE- edgy,chic,fierce (head to toe) 4-6 inch heels always unless you are a guy-Live and Breathe and DIEEEEE for FASHION-Computer literate ,photoshop,excel,micrsoftword-YOU MUST BE SMART and think on you toes-problem solver at any cost-don't ask dumb questions -get the job done-real research (that means find it no questions!!!!)-great attitude-social media /all-willing to do anything at anytime to get the task done no questions asked.-running errands personal and business -multitask to get it all done in a timely manner
*Again don't waste our time only the strong need apply*
Send Resumes to: natasha@natashamorgannyc.com

And here I thought unpaid advertising internships were thankless.

Via Buzzfeed

How not to get people to look at your hats #FdAdFriday

Fashionista asked Welsh milliner Robyn Coles why she premiered her new hat collection at London Fashion Week using nude models (including a pregnant woman).

The response was refreshing:

"It’s a basic, honest publicity scam! As a new designer I want to get people to see my work and now. I hope that people who look at the show like the light-hearted choice of nudity, appreciate the different forms of the human body and above all – like my work. It was about getting as many people there as possible."

Although her claim that nude pregnant models is something you never see on the catwalk is a little off. Has she never seen Prêt-à-Porter?

You can see all the models, male and female, at the Fashionista link.

(As a straight man, I feel honour bound to add a naked penis warning to my fellow uptight lads.)

An old-school "software update" #FdAdFriday

Wasn't this a gag in When Harry Met Sally?

And as Copyranter points out, "sporty enough to share" is kind of weird.

How young is too young to model?

In these days of Toddlers & Tiaras, it's easy to think that our media-saturated, image-obsessed culture has lost the sense to let prepubescent children get a pass on commercial sexual exploitation.

Well, one person has stood up to sexualized fashion images of young girls like Kaia Gerber above, who is only ten, appearing in a Young Versace campaign earlier this year.

Her mother has had enough. While she originally told fashion press she was "so thrilled" that Kaia was chosen for such a prestigious assignment, she has since had second thoughts. She has gone so far as to forbid the girl to model until she is at least 17. “At this point, she's too young to pursue a career," the mom explains. "There aren't even a handful of jobs for a 10-year-old girl. But if she's 17 and wants to try it, of course, what can I say?"

Great decision, Cindy Crawford! You see? Some models are actually quite smart and grounded.

Are they casting models, or snuff porn victims?

Bareface talent agency, in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, has chosen a weird way to promote its services. These ads, by Livingroom, appeared on Ads of The World over the weekend, and I'm still bothered enough by them to post here. 

Yes, I get the idea of the models being pulled every which way by fashion industry objects as representing being "in demand". But this is the freaking UAE. Women are already treated like chattel there. Accordig to Amnesty, "women in the United Arab Emirates continue to suffer the impact of discriminatory laws and practices which affect most aspectsof their life, including marriage and the choice of marriage partner, dissolution of marriage and child custody, and inheritance." Not to mention the threat of being arrested for adultery if they are victims of rape.

Not to mention the danger of foreign models being scammed and abused by unscrupulous recruiters. Or trafficked into prostitution.

So why have the models looking like they are being strangled? Even if unintentionally violent, these images are really not the best way to promote a more westernized fashion industry.

Horny Bodies #FdAdFriday

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Bizarre muscle leggings #fdadfriday

Ivan shared this picture (from Black Milk Clothing) on Facebook:

Yes, these do exist. And just in case you were wondering what the glutes look like, the catalogue includes a gratuitous bum shot.

Bum Looker!

Hey, waitaminute. Wasn't that Heidi Klum's Halloween costume?

Victoria's Secret angel falls... to Jesus

Way back in 2009, model Kylie Bisutti competed for, and won, a viewer voting contest to become the latest Victoria's Secret "angel".

Nineteen at the time, Ms. Bisutti went on to ladmag fame with shoots like this:



However, throughout her modelling career she was a married, self-described Christian.

Earlier this year, she quit her short turn as a lingerie model because she had an attack of conscience:

“My body should only be for my husband and it's just a sacred thing. I didn't really want to be that kind of role model for younger girls because I had a lot of younger Christian girls that were looking up to me and then thinking that it was okay for them to walk around and show their bodies in lingerie to guys. 

“It was pretty crazy because I finally achieved my biggest dream, the dream that I always wanted, but when I finally got it, it wasn't all that I thought it would be. Especially being married I just wanted to keep my marriage sacred because divorce rates now in America are pretty high, and I just want to do everything I can to keep my marriage special.”

Pic via Chris Schmitt

This wasn't the first time Ms. Bisutti felt a conflict between fashion and faith; she actually didn't do much work for VS after winning the original contest, eventually stating:

"For all of you that were looking for me in the Victorias Secret runway show this year, I wasn't in it. I have decided not to model lingerie Because I personally feel that I am not honoring God or my husband by doing it. My marriage is very important & with divorce rates rising I want to do everything I can to protect my marriage and be respectful to my husband. God graciously gave me this marriage and this life and my desire is to live a Godly faithful life, I don't however judge others for what they do. Everyone is convicted on different levels."

But she kept working.



I can't criticize a this woman for her desire to stop having herself objectified by the fashion industry, even if I don't think religion is the best reason to do so.

Hell, I wish her luck. Married at 19, and jaded by 21, she'll need it.

The Models are Revolting!

Well, not really. They're just organizing.


The Model Alliance Video Campaign from The Model Alliance on Vimeo.



Not quite a union, it seems, but a not-for-profit advocacy group that lets models report violations of labour laws and worse.

Here are The Model Alliance's goals:

1. Provide access to affordable health care.
2. Promote greater financial transparency.
3. Ensure that existing child labor laws are enforced.
4. Establish a grievance and enforcement system for issues of sexual harassment.
5. Draft a code of conduct that sets industry-wide standards for castings, shoots and shows.

They've even drafted a modelling bill of rights. It's a good idea. Even the minor-league models I've known over the years have been subject to poor working conditions and sexual harassment.

Sure, you might think of awful supermodels and be unmoved. But think of the thousands of anonymous men, women, boys and girls who are chewed up and spit out by an industry that is the very definition of superficiality. They could use a rescue network.

Via Jezebel

Classic Venus nudes altered for today's beauty standards

I wrote last week about Italian social issues artist Anna Utopia Giordano's mashup of booze bottles and kids' brands; now I've discovered a much cooler collection of hers.

In Venus, Ms. Giordano takes some classic nude paintings of the Roman Goddess of Love (feminine beauty and sexuality personified) and "fixes" them the way a modern photo editor would Photoshop for fashion magazine ads or editorial.

She nips and tucks he waist, thighs and buttocks, and pumps up the breasts. The result is a comparison of what was, and what is now, considered the ideal female body.

What I really like about this series is its subtlety. The artist does not exaggerate to force her point — we don't see the ribs of starving models, just a different standard of beauty applied.

Does this make Venus more "girlish" and less "womanly"? Quite possibly. But that seems to be what the trend is going towards these days.

One thing needed no alteration. In the Renaissance and subsequent periods, female pubic hair was not part of the artistic aesthetic.

Via Flavorwire