Parapornal activity #FdAdFriday

Horror hides in a box of porn...

Remember last Christmas, when Acart Communications did that Paranormal Activity spoof? We weren't the first to parody the horror franchise, and we won't be the last.

But I don't think anyone will ever make a weirder one than this:



This trailer was made to attract attention to Christian "Comedian*" Rich Praytor's campaign to make his big idea — of combining borrowed interest from Paranormal Activity, Poltergeist and other pop memes, bad jokes, and a morality play about pornography — into a feature film.

According to the Kickstarter page:

Why are we doing a project like this?     
Because films are not only entertaining but they're also a way to teach people.  Society learns their morals and values through music, film and television.  Pornography is such a huge problem that simply telling someone how dangerous it is usually doesn't work.  You have to tell a compelling story to catch someone's attention and then educate them while they're being entertained.  

Praytor promises to let big donors actually take part in the making of the film: For $250, you can "be apart [sic] of a creative brainstorming session with the cast and crew via Skype or in person (transportation not included)"; for $500, they'll name a character after you; for $3500, they'll fly you  to Colorado Springs to direct one of four scenes created from your ideas; $5000 gets you the Executive Producer credit.

But the best deal is the $7500 option:

"The director and two actors will travel to your location (continental United States only) for the day and shoot a scene you created. You will also direct the scene and spend the day with the team."
The subversive potential of being able to write and direct a scene in a low-budget Christian comedo-horror almost seems worth the money.

*And why did I put "comedian" in quotes?

Here is some of Praytor's earlier Christian comedy gold:




Tip via Buzzfeed

Pastor brings down naked billboard with 4 tweets

Via NY Post

No, this is not a billboard announcing the re-release of Spinal Tap's Smell The Glove. It's the space where Coca-Cola's Vitaminwater ad used to be.

Via allouteffort.com

This is the creative that used to be there. Pretty run-of-the-mill sexploitative advertising. ("XXX" is one of Vitaminwater's flavours, according to AdFreak.) But the giant version was posted across from Gallery Church, where a small group of Baptist Biblical literalists worship with Rev. Freddy Wyatt.

Wyatt tells the New York Post that he was "angered and brokenhearted" by the ad, because it "takes something that’s pure and precious and just strips it of its value.”

I assume he's talking about sex. Or maybe specifically female sexuality. I would agree that hypersexualized ads do diminish the awesomeness of real human intimacy, however not all sex is "pure and precious". Sometimes, it's dirty and cheap. (At least, I hear some people are into that.)

Anyway, Rev. Wyatt sent just sent four tweets to Vitaminwater and parent company Coca-Cola, and miraculously the company removed the ad the next day, unintentionally creating a great outdoor conceptual piece honouring the fact that is was Good Friday.

The Rev. was so thrilled that he served Vitaminwater at his next service, even though he couldn't believe heis voice could be so powerful. “Here’s four tweets from a random pastor," he said "and without even a conversation, they took it down.

Even though I think this kind of sex in advertising is unimaginative and somewhat demeaning, I find the knee-jerk censorship surprising too. Considering the money obviously spent on the execution and posting, this must have been a real panic for them. Was Coke afraid of having its brand dragged through the mud by a man of god on Easter weekend? No idea.

It couldn't have been Vitaminwater that did it. These are the same people who did the Jennifer Aniston "Sex Tape" hoax to promote Smartwater and had her pose completely nude in their print ads.

Or maybe they found Jesus. I don't know. 

There is a male version of the ad as well, by the way:

Via Jason in Hollywood

Would that have offended the Rev as much, do you think?

Thanks to David Gianatasio at AdFreak for the tip.

F'd Ad (Good) Fridays: What Would Jesus Shill?

via billboardom

The billboard above is a hack, obviously. But Jesus is often used and abused by lazy creatives as an easy way to shock the squares and get attention.

I do not believe in gods, but I do believe Jesus was real. He lived, he promoted a truly revolutionary philosophy of internal personal redemption in an oppressive regime, and as a result was brutally tortured and executed by them.

It's quite a story, even without the addition of coming back from the grave. A human story of vision, empathy, determination and almost unimaginable suffering that we can learn great lessons from. That's why I respect the man, even if I despise some of the hateful bullshit some of his so-called followers do in his name.

I also understand why people mock the divine Jesus that people hold up as an excuse to judge others (oh, the irony!). I just think the real guy on the cross deserves better than to be made the posthumous pitchman for...

Pizza. Via Ads of The World.

Clothing. Via Tumblr.

Shoes. Via Clarkyboy.

Online gambling. (Via Paddy Power.)

Condoms. Via Coloribus.

'70s jeans. Via Denimology.

Hot cross buns (from the pizzeria above). Via Gawker.

SUVs... and prejudice (must be fake). Via search 

Bread. Via Copyranter.

GPS systems. (Via The Inspiration Room)

Smartphones. (Via Photopol)

Jesus' "brand" has also been drafted into the service of cause marketing, promoting:

Vegetarianism. Via Free Republic.

Atheism. (Via Friendly Atheist.)

Road safety (as corporate social responsibility for Pernon). Via  the Inspiration Room)

Marriage equality. (Vianathanielclaiborne.com.)

Interestingly, the irreverent nature of Jesus ads has resulted in more progressive Christian churches using playful Christ images to promote discussion about their faith:

The United Church of Canada. Via the Inspiration Room.

St. Matthews-in-the-City (New Zealand). Via Buzzfeed.

Even Muslims got into the act:

Via Muslim Village

What do you think of Jesus being used as borrowed interest for advertising? Funny? Blasphemous? Edgy? Unimaginative?

Whatever your creed, I wish you all a safe and happy Easter full of peace, love and renewal.

More bad atheist advertising

Via Free Thought Blogs

Angry atheist advertising continues to make other unbelievers look bad. In this case, they started with a valid insight, that some of the worst things ever done to other people used the Bible as justification.

From Wikipedia:

"[Slavery] was established by decree of Almighty God...it is sanctioned in the Bible, in both Testaments, from Genesis to Revelation...it has existed in all ages, has been found among the people of the highest civilization, and in nations of the highest proficiency in the arts ."
- Jefferson Davis, President, Confederate States of America

In a detailed, educated argument, you could easily use the slavery case against Biblical literalists, including the modern-day oppressors who use it to justify war, sexism and homophobia. But the other side could easily retort that Christians were behind abolition of slavery as well. The religion wasn't the cause of the evil, it was simply used as a justification for it.

This ad brings us a terrible reminder about a crime against humanity — the enslavement of millions of Africans and their descendants to build the agrarian economy in the United States (and elsewhere, including Canada). While it's good to never forget past evils, the image must be terribly hurtful to African Americans of today, and its powerful emotional impact is being co-opted by people who just want to bash religion.

There is really no need for evangelical atheism. It is not an alternative to religion, it is just a lack of it. As I've pointed out many times before, atheist groups do themselves no favours with nasty anti-religion ad campaigns. If anything, they just seem to validate the victim complex of some religious groups, like the fundamentalist Christians who claim they are victims of hate.

source

Look, guys, we secularists don't need your help. Some of us don't see religious people as deluded bumpkins, but as people with a different point of view. As long as they're not imposing unscientific views in government communications and school curricula why fight faith. It's been around for a long time. Instead, join people of all beliefs in fighting human rights abuses from any source.

Thanks to my brother David for the tip.

The Return of Purity Bear #FdAdFriday

How can you make a terrible pro-abstinence ad even worse? Add some racialized stereotyping into the mix!



The latest amateur video from Day of Purity manages to be even more awkward than the first one, stopping the horny and lovestruck teens from having sex using a sassy African American vernacular.

Reposted from Osocio

Toys for tots, tits, tatts

With Christmas within arm's reach, all kinds of marketers are trying to get a piece of the spirit. It sometimes leads to odd couplings.

Chicago's Admiral Theater, which despite the classy name is actually a strip club, is offering to exchange one free lap dance for a donation of a toy for charity.

Aren't all lap dances for the "needy"?

In Memphis, Tattoo artist Jay Guzman is offering free tatts for a toy donation to his favourite Christian cause.

Huffington Post says that when customers bring in a toy worth $25 or more, Monday through Wednesday, they can get a tattoo or piercing of comparable price in exchange. Guzman said in an interview, "Everybody associates tattoo artists with being criminals, bikers, degenerates — and I'm a believing Christian and I believe what better way to be Christ-like than by giving back."

It's a good point. Strip clubs, tattoo parlours... if Jesus the man were here right now, that's exactly where he would do his ministry: among the very people his more hypocritical followers despise.

NZ church keeps up its irreverent Christian holiday ad tradition

St Matthews in the City Church in Auckland, NZ, is known for its controversial billboards. This Christmas, they did not disappoint:

Via stuff.co.nz and Copyranter

Here's a clearer image:

Via The Daily Mail

Well, how would you react if you were an engaged homeless virgin who just found out she was pregnant?


Vicar Glynn Cardy says the irreverent ad has a serious Christmas message:

"It's real. Christmas is real. It's about a real pregnancy, a real mother and a real child. It's about real anxiety, courage and hope. This billboard portrays Mary, Jesus' mother, looking at a home pregnancy test kit revealing that she is pregnant.   Regardless of any premonition, that discovery would have been shocking.  Mary was unmarried, young, and poor.  This pregnancy would shape her future.  She was certainly not the first woman in this situation or the last."

Screw the haters. I love these guys.

Other great St. Mathews billboards:

• This billboard will rise again
• God is an All-Blacks fan
• God is a hard act to follow
• Beware of God
• "Hell no, we're giving up pizza for Lent"
• Same-sex couples on Noah's Ark

Florida Family Association wishes American Muslims a Hateful Christmas

OMG TERRURISTS!

Jezebel writes that American home-improvement chain Lowes has pulled its advertising from TLC's reality show All-American Muslim after complaints from the Florida Family Association.

According to TLC's online preview:

"All-American Muslim follows the daily lives of five American Muslim families in Dearborn, Michigan, one of the most established and largest concentrations of American Muslims in the country. Each episode offers an intimate look at customs and celebrations, as well as misconceptions, conflicts, and differences these families face outside and within their own community."

 In other words, it is offering a peek beyond the xenophobia, to portray the diverse people behind the faith.

This infuriates the Florida Family Association, who sent out an alert to all their members to e-mail TLC with complaints:

"The Learning Channel's new show All-American Muslim is propaganda clearly designed to counter legitimate and present-day concerns about many Muslims who are advancing Islamic fundamentalism and Sharia law.  The show profiles only Muslims that appear to be ordinary folks while excluding many Islamic believers whose agenda poses a clear and present danger to liberties and traditional values that the majority of Americans cherish."

My. Oh. My. Can't you just feel the love of Jesus Christ throbbing in their veins? The FFA's mission statement is to "educate people on what they can do to defend, protect and promote traditional, biblical values." (Apparently, "love thy neighbour" ain't one of these.)

Lowe's gave the lamest excuse ever for giving in to fundamentalist pressure:

"Individuals and groups have strong political and societal views on this topic, and this program became a lightning rod for many of those views. As a result we did pull our advertising on this program. We believe it is best to respectfully defer to communities, individuals and groups to discuss and consider such issues of importance."

Way to go, asshats. Spineless and callous is no way for a brand to go through life.

Predictably, some public figures are calling for a boycott of the cowardly brand, including Democratic Senator Ted Lieu, who is calling for a Christmas boycott of Lowe's. He says, "The show is about what it's like to be a Muslim in America, and it touches on the discrimination they sometimes face. And that kind of discrimination is exactly what's happening here with Lowe's."

LOTS of room for improvement in this brand.

Related: Buzzfeed's 25 Dumbest Comments On Lowe's Facebook Page About “All-American Muslim”