Subway talks trash about fast food

If real, this is pretty weird. According to a post on Ads Of The World, it's a Subway campaign for DDB Puerto Rico.

Weirdness aside, there are two things about this campaign that bug me:

First, what fast food brand in its right mind would want their logo associated with disgusting, smelly, garbage trucks and bins? Even with the "feed them better" tagline, it's bound to cause some visceral negativity around the brand.

Second, Subway is hardly health food. According to their site, even a 6" version of their tuna, Italian, and pizza subs have almost 500 calories. (Specialty six-inchers like Big Philly Cheesesteak, Buffalo Chicken, and Chicken & Bacon Ranch Melt have 500 or more.)

At McDonald's, a Big Mac is more calorie-iffic, sure, at 550, but the Quarter Pounder w/Cheese is 520, and a regular hamburger (does anyone eat those?) is just 250 cal.

Sure, you can go all Jared and get a low-fat turkey sub with no cheese and mayo. But McDonald's also sells salads. The point is that you can get an Angus Bacon & Cheese (790) with fries and a Coke (note that all numbers on the McSite are "small only") or you can get a footlong Big Philly Cheesesteak (1000) with chips and a Coke. Both meals are arterially terrifying crap.

So where does Subway get off being all less-junkier-than-thou?

Hot dog stuffed crust pizza is a thing now

That Pizza Hut unleashed this abomination will not surprise anyone. That it was Pizza Hut UK, not USA, that did it first, however, may come as a shock.

It also comes with "free mustard drizzle".

Gah. Let's just ladle some gravy on it and call it a day.


Via Buzzfeed and Gizmodo

Ass kebabs #FdAdFriday

What is it with the obsession with asses in Brazil? They have somehow merged it with their love of barbecue in a bizarre pastiche of animal snuff and food porn.

Personally, I would rather not thing about an animal with an arrow up its bum when considering where to get some meat on a stick. But maybe that's just me.

Via Ads of The World

Meet Gregory McCreeperson, McDonald's voice of wisdom

This is Gregory. He is the new face of McDonald's Extra Value Menu.

He is also creepy as hell.



Gregory (who has his own section on the McDonald's web site) looks like he's supposed to represent wisdom and experience, and they expect young guys to appreciate the irony of this frumpy old man giving unsolicited advice on life and love.

But the Burger Business blog sees him differently: "If he looks familiar, it may be because he looks like the weary, burned-out history teacher we all had in high school. If you were especially unlucky he also was your counselor who never really knew your name. "

It's also interesting to note than Spanish-speaking Americans are spared Gregory's advice:

McDonald's attempts to manufacture another meme #shamrocking

Apparently not fazed by the #McDStories hashtag disaster, McDonald's is again attempting to seed its own "grassroots" social media campaign.

This time, it's a sponsored post on Buzzfeed, complete with amateur-looking pictures and a video.

The pitch:

"Have You Tried #Shamrocking Yet?
The Irish jig has been an expression of joy since the 16th century, and thanks to the hot new viral trend of #Shamrocking, it's making a modern day comeback. Check out some of these high-stepping #Shamrockers, then get out there and treat your friends to a shake and make them dance with delight!"

Irish stereotypes aside (since we're used to those in March) this retail appropriation of stupid photo memes like planking, horsemaning and tebowing is just asking for trouble. (Not to mention that the term "shamrocking" already has some disgusting and/or random double-meanings at Urban Dictionary.)



At least, I hope people will subvert this cynical attempt to manipulate people into creating free viral advertising. Otherwise, I may lose a little more faith in humanity.

Update: This story was picked up by AdFreak.

Arby's embraces the sandwich on social media

I'm no fan of Arby's frighteningly-soft and salty roast beef now, but I loved it as a teenager.

What interests me about what they're doing these days is purely professional — it's how they are using the Buzzfeed viral-launching site to promote their new Reuben sandwich.

They start with branded soft-sell, but keep it minimal:

Note the "Sponsored Partner", meaning that they paid to stay on the front page of the "Latest Buzz" list (which is the section I always go to).

But then then change the conversation into one of the most popular topics among people who like to talk about nothing online: Sandwiches.

That doesn't look like any Reuben I've ever... wait a minute! That's their version!

But notice they talk about the sandwich in general, and if there's anything likely to cause debate, it's the proper origins of North American comfort foods.

They then leave their own menu and do a generic rundown of the Hoagie, the French Dip, the Club, the Sloppy Joe, the Philly Cheese Steak, the Monte Cristo, the BLT, the Po' Boy, and the Dagwood.

We call them "subs"

Man, I'm hungry.

They have another post on Buzzfeed called "Awesome Variations Of The Reuben Sandwich You Need To Try Right Now" which follows the same basic formula.

Do you think it will work? I have a feeling it will. The fast food chain has hit upon a good balance of obvious self-promotion and content which is anything but groundbreaking, but also sort of worth a browse—especially before lunch. And if the nearest Arby's just might be more convenient than the nearest real deli... well... they send you straight to a store locator on their Facebook page.

It's not shockingly innovative, but it is good, sensible, modern online marketing. I'm still not going to eat there, but it's much smarter marketing than their infamous SI Swimsuit ad.

Especially since this is not the area of the female anatomy that is generally compared to a roast beef sandwich...

McDonald's Germany introduces Italian Stereotype Burger

Italians! They make big meals for their large and unruly families, they make domestic violence sexy, they play soccer and carve ham!



At least, that's how the Germans apparently see them. In this German ad for McDonald's new Italian-themed “Mamma Italia” burger, Italian stereotypes live life with a passion that is very hard on their dinnerware — which is why McDonald's has introduced Italian food you can eat with your hands.

I always though plate smashing was a Greek thing. But what do I know?

Has McDonald's been forced to label its food carcinogenic?

There's a pic going around showing a "new" McDonald's warning label about cancer-causing ingredients. But here's the kicker: that shit is in most of what you eat.

If you've been paying attention, you've been hearing about acrylamide for years. It's naturally present in ripe olives, and dried plums (prunes) and pears. It's in your coffee. And it gets produced every time you brown many of your favourite foods (like meat, potatoes and bread) at high heat. In short, it's in everything you like.

This picture showed up on Buzzfeed today, but a web search seems to indicate that it is a hoax from 2009, based on conjecture about whether California's strict food safety laws would lead to fast foods being labelled the way cigarettes are. I can't find any evidence that that is actually happening.

Of course, that won't stop this image from going viral, again, with reactionary comments like this:

"It stands to reason that this is a legal/precautionary measure; after reports swirled about fast food wrappers containing cancer causing chemicals that have been found in the fecal matter, blood, and urine of tested subjects, McDonald’s likely placed these notices on their wrappers to save face. 

For us, this is a wake up call. Personally I wish I could throw up the Big Mac I ate last night (if it weren’t too digested) but since I can’t, I’m going to be forced to take a brief hiatus from my local Dirt Ronnies. Will you continue to eat McDonald’s without shame or concern, or is a warning like this big enough to scare you away?"

No, it does not "stand to reason". Even the faux label itself admits that the compound is naturally occurring, and that that the FDA has nothing against it. If McDonald's were forced to issue this warning, so would all those other cooked and prepared foods I listed above. It is simply not a "McDonald's issue."

My feeling is, if you're going to trash McDonald's for selling sugary, fatty, overprocessed and marginally nutritious food to kids and other vulnerable groups, then do that. McDonald's is not a nice company (although I do love an Egg McMuffin). But random and ill-informed anti-McDonald's panic is not helping the conversation about nutrition, culture or corporate ethics.

Related:

F'd Ad Fridays: Give in to the dark side of the burger...

Belgian fast food chain Quick has created something rather... disturbing as a tie-in to the release of Star Wars Episode 1 in 3-D: a black bunned Darth Vader burger.

There's also a Yoda-themed Jedi burger, but I guess a green bun was considered somehow more unappetizing, so they kept in natural.

There's also a burger based on Darth Maul, who apparently really loves cholesterol.

To be honest, the scariest thing about this whole deal is the thought of seeing Jar-Jar in 3-D.

Via complex.com

I think Japan has a new slang term for "big ass"

At least, it will when people eat enough "Grand Canyon Burgers" — which tops the patty with cooked egg, mozzarella, Cheddar cheese and steak sauce made with soy and liquid smoke.

In case you're interested, the "Las Vegas" is topped with cheese sauce and more beef (looks like Steak-umms — shouldn't that be the Philadelphia Burger then?) The Broadway has a cream cheese and mustard sauce, and the Beverly Hills is another egg one.

Via Burger Business

Is McDonald's upcoming "Farm to Fork" campaign just empty calories?

Burger Business shared the address of this "unlisted" ad on the McDonald's USA YouTube channel:



Apparently, McDonald's Tweeted it last week.

Nothing too exciting, but the it's a sneak peak into how McD's new "Farm-to-fork" approach to supply chain accountability will play out.

Here's a report about a McDonald's presentation given to an Iowa farming group:

The food retailer known for its wide variety of menu choices and a willingness to explore new marketing frontiers said connecting patrons with the people who provide their food is important. 

Debbie Roberts, vice president and general manager of McDonald’s Midwest Region, told a gathering of Nebraska farmers that linking the farm to fork matters as people become more “comfortable” with their food. 

She said McDonald’s will present an ad campaign in 2012 that will feature farmers and growers that supply the products. 

“We will bring to the consumer, the folks who are actually producing the product,” Roberts says. “They will have the opportunity to meet those folks, see them on TV…put the face with the product.” 

She points out that consumers have become increasingly savvy, and they want to know more about the source of their food. 

“For us to be relevant as a brand, we constantly talk with consumers, and we listen,” Roberts adds. “That’s been the success of McDonald’s; to make sure we have a brand that responds to consumers.”

But is it more than window dressing? It feels like they're trying to copy Chipotle's message of family farmer support without offering any tangible action to back it up.

New web series accelerates the Starbucksization of McDonald's Canada

McDonald's Canada continues to try to be Starbucks. First it was better coffee. Then it was the "McCafé" makeover at their restaurants. Now, they've hired a sitcom writer to make them McDonald's-promoting webisodes of something derivative of Seinfeld, Friends and The Office:



It's purposefully awkward, with hamfisted product placements. But will it convince Canadians that McDick's is a cool place to hang out all day, sip a latte, and enjoy free wifi? Isn't that something the Starbucks has decided isn't really a great business model?



I just don't get it. McDonald's brand is built on cheap comfort food and parents buying their children's love with Happy Meals. The sooner they drop the pretentious makeover, the better.

Tip via Burger Business