Subway talks trash about fast food

If real, this is pretty weird. According to a post on Ads Of The World, it's a Subway campaign for DDB Puerto Rico.

Weirdness aside, there are two things about this campaign that bug me:

First, what fast food brand in its right mind would want their logo associated with disgusting, smelly, garbage trucks and bins? Even with the "feed them better" tagline, it's bound to cause some visceral negativity around the brand.

Second, Subway is hardly health food. According to their site, even a 6" version of their tuna, Italian, and pizza subs have almost 500 calories. (Specialty six-inchers like Big Philly Cheesesteak, Buffalo Chicken, and Chicken & Bacon Ranch Melt have 500 or more.)

At McDonald's, a Big Mac is more calorie-iffic, sure, at 550, but the Quarter Pounder w/Cheese is 520, and a regular hamburger (does anyone eat those?) is just 250 cal.

Sure, you can go all Jared and get a low-fat turkey sub with no cheese and mayo. But McDonald's also sells salads. The point is that you can get an Angus Bacon & Cheese (790) with fries and a Coke (note that all numbers on the McSite are "small only") or you can get a footlong Big Philly Cheesesteak (1000) with chips and a Coke. Both meals are arterially terrifying crap.

So where does Subway get off being all less-junkier-than-thou?

McDonald's wants you to buy your kids' love with McNuggets

It's always been known that McDonald's real brand promise is "buy your children's love". They create this opportunity by marketing so effectively to kids that they think anything tastes better in a McWrapper. Then they sappily remind third- and fourth-generation McParents how great they felt when they went to the Golden Arches.

Knowing all of this, and as cynical as I am, I was still shocked when I saw this print campaign on Copyranter's Buzzfeed blog.

DDB New York has produced what may be the most blatant execution of McDonald's brand strategy by telling parents that even if they suck at making their kids happy, the anodyne is a quick trip to the Mc, where a few bucks worth of sugar, salt, fat and designer flavours will make it all okay.

Yeah, it's supposed to be clever and funny. No, I am not laughing. Especially in regards to the one where a little boy is abandoned in a dark soccer field because mom or dad simply forgot to pick him up:

Show some responsibility already, McDonalds and DDB. Or at least be a little more subtle in your evil manipulation of parental love. OK?

McDonald's wants to occupy your gut

This "lunch manifesto," in the style of social message videos like The Girl Effect, frames having lunch at the corporate behemoth as an act of rebellion against The Man.



Animal NY points out that, ironically, "in the early days of Occupy Wall Street, the McDonald’s located several blocks from Liberty Plaza served as a sort of unofficial comfort station for protesters". But now the OWS message has been "trivialized" to sell burgers.

The upside is that, unlike OWS, McDonald's food can't really "occupy" anyone for long...

Meet Gregory McCreeperson, McDonald's voice of wisdom

This is Gregory. He is the new face of McDonald's Extra Value Menu.

He is also creepy as hell.



Gregory (who has his own section on the McDonald's web site) looks like he's supposed to represent wisdom and experience, and they expect young guys to appreciate the irony of this frumpy old man giving unsolicited advice on life and love.

But the Burger Business blog sees him differently: "If he looks familiar, it may be because he looks like the weary, burned-out history teacher we all had in high school. If you were especially unlucky he also was your counselor who never really knew your name. "

It's also interesting to note than Spanish-speaking Americans are spared Gregory's advice:

McDonald's attempts to manufacture another meme #shamrocking

Apparently not fazed by the #McDStories hashtag disaster, McDonald's is again attempting to seed its own "grassroots" social media campaign.

This time, it's a sponsored post on Buzzfeed, complete with amateur-looking pictures and a video.

The pitch:

"Have You Tried #Shamrocking Yet?
The Irish jig has been an expression of joy since the 16th century, and thanks to the hot new viral trend of #Shamrocking, it's making a modern day comeback. Check out some of these high-stepping #Shamrockers, then get out there and treat your friends to a shake and make them dance with delight!"

Irish stereotypes aside (since we're used to those in March) this retail appropriation of stupid photo memes like planking, horsemaning and tebowing is just asking for trouble. (Not to mention that the term "shamrocking" already has some disgusting and/or random double-meanings at Urban Dictionary.)



At least, I hope people will subvert this cynical attempt to manipulate people into creating free viral advertising. Otherwise, I may lose a little more faith in humanity.

Update: This story was picked up by AdFreak.

McDonald's Germany introduces Italian Stereotype Burger

Italians! They make big meals for their large and unruly families, they make domestic violence sexy, they play soccer and carve ham!



At least, that's how the Germans apparently see them. In this German ad for McDonald's new Italian-themed “Mamma Italia” burger, Italian stereotypes live life with a passion that is very hard on their dinnerware — which is why McDonald's has introduced Italian food you can eat with your hands.

I always though plate smashing was a Greek thing. But what do I know?

Are these golden arches untouchable?

We've seen logos done with flowers on embankments before. But with this evil-minded idea, Sean Click proposes a guerrilla form of brand creep that leaves a permanent mark on the landscape.

According to his site, he would design the logo using seeds of the California poppy, and:

"Since the California poppy is the state flower, the legislature has protected the plant. It is illegal to pick, destroy, or dig up a California poppy."

 Ha ha ha. But the joke is on Sean. Just like the trillium here in Ontario, the California poppy is no more protected than any other plant on public land. (You're not supposed to pick anything there, unless you are authorized to do so.)

Not to mention that poppies are prolific self seeders (like McDonalds, they are an invasive species in Europe). Even if left alone by state landscapers, the M would turn into a big yellow blob pretty soon anyway.

Tip via Buzzfeed

John Goodman shills for the Egg McMuffin

"You want a McMuffin? I can get you a McMuffin, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. "

This is apparently fron 1983, when he would have been about 31. And the cashier is Megan Mullally.



Via Buzzfeed

McDonald's serves up hashtags, gets burned. #McDStories

Big corporations and social media is a volatile mix. McDonald's learned this the hard way this month when they introduced a special hashtag (#McDStories) on Twitter in an attempt to generate some free customer-generated social PR to go with its new campaign.

The results, for anyone who spends time on Twitter, were predictable. It was a freaking dogpile.

And of course PETA got involved.

While there are ways to deal with this kind of backlash, McDonald's is just too big to give a community manager the power and training to fix it, and to hated to avoid messing it up anyway.

They should have stuck with hashbrowns.

Has McDonald's been forced to label its food carcinogenic?

There's a pic going around showing a "new" McDonald's warning label about cancer-causing ingredients. But here's the kicker: that shit is in most of what you eat.

If you've been paying attention, you've been hearing about acrylamide for years. It's naturally present in ripe olives, and dried plums (prunes) and pears. It's in your coffee. And it gets produced every time you brown many of your favourite foods (like meat, potatoes and bread) at high heat. In short, it's in everything you like.

This picture showed up on Buzzfeed today, but a web search seems to indicate that it is a hoax from 2009, based on conjecture about whether California's strict food safety laws would lead to fast foods being labelled the way cigarettes are. I can't find any evidence that that is actually happening.

Of course, that won't stop this image from going viral, again, with reactionary comments like this:

"It stands to reason that this is a legal/precautionary measure; after reports swirled about fast food wrappers containing cancer causing chemicals that have been found in the fecal matter, blood, and urine of tested subjects, McDonald’s likely placed these notices on their wrappers to save face. 

For us, this is a wake up call. Personally I wish I could throw up the Big Mac I ate last night (if it weren’t too digested) but since I can’t, I’m going to be forced to take a brief hiatus from my local Dirt Ronnies. Will you continue to eat McDonald’s without shame or concern, or is a warning like this big enough to scare you away?"

No, it does not "stand to reason". Even the faux label itself admits that the compound is naturally occurring, and that that the FDA has nothing against it. If McDonald's were forced to issue this warning, so would all those other cooked and prepared foods I listed above. It is simply not a "McDonald's issue."

My feeling is, if you're going to trash McDonald's for selling sugary, fatty, overprocessed and marginally nutritious food to kids and other vulnerable groups, then do that. McDonald's is not a nice company (although I do love an Egg McMuffin). But random and ill-informed anti-McDonald's panic is not helping the conversation about nutrition, culture or corporate ethics.

Related:

I think Japan has a new slang term for "big ass"

At least, it will when people eat enough "Grand Canyon Burgers" — which tops the patty with cooked egg, mozzarella, Cheddar cheese and steak sauce made with soy and liquid smoke.

In case you're interested, the "Las Vegas" is topped with cheese sauce and more beef (looks like Steak-umms — shouldn't that be the Philadelphia Burger then?) The Broadway has a cream cheese and mustard sauce, and the Beverly Hills is another egg one.

Via Burger Business

Is McDonald's upcoming "Farm to Fork" campaign just empty calories?

Burger Business shared the address of this "unlisted" ad on the McDonald's USA YouTube channel:



Apparently, McDonald's Tweeted it last week.

Nothing too exciting, but the it's a sneak peak into how McD's new "Farm-to-fork" approach to supply chain accountability will play out.

Here's a report about a McDonald's presentation given to an Iowa farming group:

The food retailer known for its wide variety of menu choices and a willingness to explore new marketing frontiers said connecting patrons with the people who provide their food is important. 

Debbie Roberts, vice president and general manager of McDonald’s Midwest Region, told a gathering of Nebraska farmers that linking the farm to fork matters as people become more “comfortable” with their food. 

She said McDonald’s will present an ad campaign in 2012 that will feature farmers and growers that supply the products. 

“We will bring to the consumer, the folks who are actually producing the product,” Roberts says. “They will have the opportunity to meet those folks, see them on TV…put the face with the product.” 

She points out that consumers have become increasingly savvy, and they want to know more about the source of their food. 

“For us to be relevant as a brand, we constantly talk with consumers, and we listen,” Roberts adds. “That’s been the success of McDonald’s; to make sure we have a brand that responds to consumers.”

But is it more than window dressing? It feels like they're trying to copy Chipotle's message of family farmer support without offering any tangible action to back it up.

F'd Ad Fridays: McSploitation advertising

Do you find the really awkwardly targeted funk-era McDonald's ad charming, or painful?

(click to enlarge and read copy)

Although McDonald's efforts to reach diverse American consumers haven't become much less awkward in  the last 40 years.

Found in that 1973 Ebony magazine that just keeps giving...

New web series accelerates the Starbucksization of McDonald's Canada

McDonald's Canada continues to try to be Starbucks. First it was better coffee. Then it was the "McCafé" makeover at their restaurants. Now, they've hired a sitcom writer to make them McDonald's-promoting webisodes of something derivative of Seinfeld, Friends and The Office:



It's purposefully awkward, with hamfisted product placements. But will it convince Canadians that McDick's is a cool place to hang out all day, sip a latte, and enjoy free wifi? Isn't that something the Starbucks has decided isn't really a great business model?



I just don't get it. McDonald's brand is built on cheap comfort food and parents buying their children's love with Happy Meals. The sooner they drop the pretentious makeover, the better.

Tip via Burger Business