HJ Gloves, by IsoBoner

Casey just sent me this spoof ad from Funny or Die. (It's a little gross, so watch at own risk.)

HJ Gloves from Adam Scott      

Pretty funny, although the Obsession ad parodies are pretty done at this point. And the gloves? Iggy rocked those more than 40 years ago.

HJ Gloves, by Ig, circa 1970

Best Typo of Valentine's Day 2012

Courtesy Teleflora. As shared by a Consumerist reader, who explains:

"This was not my intended message. I had said she was the best lover in the whole world. I tried calling Teleflora about it, but it seems as though their lines are all disconnected or overwhelmed. Am I the victim of mistyping by someone else, or is this more widespread and possibly a disgruntled employee making everyone pay?"

That must have been awkward.

If you've seen a better one, please post it below.

Happy Day After Valentine's Day

Tatjana shared this bit of insanity from The Viral Factory. (It's two years old, but new to me.)



Okay.

#PRmageddon — Post-Valentine's edition

Jezebel has a great little piece about how the big flower industry took a social media beating yesterday due to disappointing product, shabby service, and often complete failure to deliver.

Ouch! FTD may want to rethink that slogan, "say it your way". It looks like their customers already have.

As the article points out, " course, Valentine's Day floral screw-ups have probably been happening for years, but now thanks to the magic of social networking, we have an up close and personal view of the epic fails all of the major online florists seem to be experiencing at the moment."

What Jez fails to mention is the phenomenal "out" this provides to all the men with disappointed (intentionally) flowerless Valentine's dates. "I ordered it from FTD" could be the new "the cheque is in the mail".



No word on whether Teleflora caused Adriana Lima's date to sleep on the couch.

The five worst Valentine's puns you may read today #vday

via

Via Retronaut

Via

Via Retronaut

Via PETA

The real St. Valentine

There he sits (his head, anyway) in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. All that we really know about him is that his feast day is today (February 14) and that he is dead. Stories about him being a priest martyred by Emperor Claudius for secretly marrying Christian couples is a bit of late Mediaeval and Renaissance embellishment, as is his association with love and romance (attributed to Chaucer).

So enjoy your cards, candies and sexy time while you may. You'll eventually be a dead person people make up stories about too.

Hello Hooters #vday

Remember when Burger King and CP+B got in trouble for sexualizing Spongebob Squarepants in a kiddie promotion? Apparently that would have been fine in Japan, where Hooters is Using Hello Kitty in a "sexy" Valentine's Day dessert promotion.

Via Eater

Oh well, I guess that poor cartoon cat has been through worse humiliations.

Marriage proposal infographic #vday

Apparently, the girlfriend works at Mashable. So maybe she'll actually like it. (I hope so, because I'm looking forward to the wedding night venn diagram.)

Via Buzzfeed

Google wants you to feel lucky... in love #vday

Google is well-known for its doodles on the homepage. Today's is, appropriately, a sweet little message of love:



And yes, that includes same-sex couples. (Although the princess and the frog would seem to validate some of Rick Santorum's more outrageous views on equal marriage:)

R/GA Presents: The Workplace Sexual Harassment Twitter App #officecupid

What a terrible idea.

R/GA has launched this cute little self-promotional Twitter thing that is bound to get someone in trouble. Anonymous "valentweets" may seem really sweet, until you remember the following rule of the internet:
person + anonymity + audience = total dickwad.

In other words, this could make Mad Men look like a model of appropriate relations between the sexes at work.*

So let's try:

And... nothing. I just got stood up by myself. On Valentine's Day. **sob**

*Here's the TOU:


By using rgaofficecupid.com managed by R/GA ("we" or "us"), you signify that you have read, understand and agree to be bound by these Terms of Use. These Terms of Use may be updated from time to time for any reason. Children under the age of 13 are not permitted to use rgaofficecupid.com. All information and content added, created, uploaded, submitted, distributed, or posted to rgaofficecupid.com and content generated by us ("Content") is your sole responsibility. We will not be liable in any way for any Content. When you participate, you do so at your own risk. We do not guarantee we will be able to fulfill all requests. We may refuse to provide the service to anyone at anytime. You agree to indemnify and hold us, our affiliates, officers and employees exempt from any claim or demand, including reasonable attorneys' fees, made by any third party due to or arising out of the Content. rgaofficecupid.com collects only public Twitter account names and whatever additional information participants choose to provide. This information will not be stored or used for any other purpose. You may contact us at: Harley.Block@rga.com. rgaofficecupid.com is not associated with Twitter. Twitter is a registered trademark of Twitter Inc.

So much for Cupid

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Wurst. Valentine. Ever.

Via Ads of The World

Here's hoping the day isn't a sausage fest. Unless you're a gay dude. In which case, wunderbar!

Engagement pizza comes with a ring, flowers, limo and fireworks*

*horrified girlfriend not included

Eater put me on to this publicity stunt of a Valentine's Day offer by none other than the chain restaurant known colloquially as "Pizza Slut":

Here's a close-up:

I love how the $10 pizza is additional to the $10K in swag. (Including a brand-appropriate red gem in the ring.)

Eater also quotes the press release:

“Would you like a proposal with your order?” Starting today, consumers visiting PizzaHut.com can answer “yes” to that question and purchase the $10 Dinner Box Proposal Package, an epic collection of proposal goodies inspired by the new $10 Dinner Box on the Pizza Hut menu. Pizza Hut is offering only 10 of the exclusive packages just in time for Valentine’s Day at a cost of $10,010 each. The $10 Dinner Box Proposal Package includes a ruby engagement ring, limo service, flowers, fireworks show, photographer, videographer and of course, most importantly, the mouth-watering new $10 Dinner Box. 

Fitting all of these amazing items into one package echoes the feat pulled off inside the new Pizza Hut $10 Dinner Box, which includes a medium one-topping rectangular pan pizza, five breadsticks with marinara sauce and 10 cinnamon sticks with a sweet icing cup in one box for only $10. 

“If we’re able to fit pizza, breadsticks and dessert into one box for only $10, why stop there?” asked Kurt Kane, Pizza Hut CMO. “Our customers want the best of everything, from their food to memorable life experiences. So we decided to make one of those experiences – the marriage proposal – second-to-none and offer it at PizzaHut.com right alongside the new $10 Dinner Box.” 

With only 10 packages being offered at PizzaHut.com, those looking to pop the question in a unique way need to act fast. c. Here’s a closer look inside the $10 Dinner Box Proposal Package. 

Ruby Engagement Ring: a stunning ruby stone flanked by shimmering diamonds
Limo Service: pick up your sweetheart in style before popping the question
Flowers: no proposal is complete without a spectacular bouquet of her favorite flowers
Fireworks: a perfectly-timed fireworks display will vault this proposal into the record books
Photographer: photos taken of the happy couple before, during and after the moment
Videographer: capturing video of the moment she says “yes”
$10 Dinner Box: hands-down the most vital, and appetizing, piece of the package

It's a cute little stunt. Although paying ten grand to help a crappy pizza chain generate PR is probably not the way I would have wanted to start my marriage.