Playboy's late-life identity crisis

Poor old Playboy doesn't know what to be in the 21st Century.

Founded as somewhat of a countercultural icon for affluent and educated men almost 60 years ago, it played an important (if one-sided) part in the Sexual Revolution and spoke out against McCarthyism. In the '60s, it matured into a brand for the wannabe martini set. But by the '70s, hardcore pornography took away its more horny audiences as it maintained its relevance through top-notch interviews and celebrity pictorials. In the '80s, it was all about video.

Now, here we are in the digital age. Pictures of naked women are abundant and free. So is interesting and subversive content. So what's left for Playboy?

I think their biggest problem is that sex, culture and politics are no longer a man's exclusive domain. Playboy will never be able to shake its basically sexist brand character, and who wants to be associated with that?

The douchebag market, that's who. Young men who read Maxim and wear Axe.

To compete with Maxim, Playboy launched The Smoking Jacket, an online ladmag that covers culture, entertainment and boobies with a less overtly-pornographic, teasing style. Fellow adblogger Steve Hall, from Adrants, is one of the contributors. (He pens a "sexy ads of the week" column.)

And Axe?

Check out this Playboy shower gel ad by DDB Paris:



Yeah, it's a shitty ad. It's also extremely creepy. Can you imagine how a young woman would feel if a strange man, alone with her in the elevator, hit the emergency button? She'd be expecting the worst.

I don't really know if Playboy has a future as a serious brand. It could be that, in a few years, it will only survive as a logo worn ironically (or desperately) by attention-seeking young women.

What do you think?

McDonald's wants you to buy your kids' love with McNuggets

It's always been known that McDonald's real brand promise is "buy your children's love". They create this opportunity by marketing so effectively to kids that they think anything tastes better in a McWrapper. Then they sappily remind third- and fourth-generation McParents how great they felt when they went to the Golden Arches.

Knowing all of this, and as cynical as I am, I was still shocked when I saw this print campaign on Copyranter's Buzzfeed blog.

DDB New York has produced what may be the most blatant execution of McDonald's brand strategy by telling parents that even if they suck at making their kids happy, the anodyne is a quick trip to the Mc, where a few bucks worth of sugar, salt, fat and designer flavours will make it all okay.

Yeah, it's supposed to be clever and funny. No, I am not laughing. Especially in regards to the one where a little boy is abandoned in a dark soccer field because mom or dad simply forgot to pick him up:

Show some responsibility already, McDonalds and DDB. Or at least be a little more subtle in your evil manipulation of parental love. OK?

Shawinigan Handshake Beer? #FdAdFriday

I'm busier than a one-armed Creative Director today, so these are going to be short.

Casey sent me this tip:

That's "Shawinigan Handshake Beer" by Shawinigan, Que. brewery Le Trou, mocking Canada's former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's manhandling of a protester who got in his face back in 1996.

Apparently Mr. Chrétien liked the idea.

According to the Winnipeg Free Press:

Isaac Tremblay, co-owner of the brewery Le Trou du diable, said he had a secret dream of drinking a draft Shawinigan Handshake with Chrétien ever since his team created the strong German-style beer three years ago. 

"And one day last fall, I walked into the bar and there was Mr. Chrétien, sipping a Shawinigan Handshake," Tremblay said. The two talked and Chrétien expressed his interest in getting a pack of the beer paying tribute to a moment in Canadian history. 

"He liked the idea and thought it was funny," Tremblay said, adding Chrétien wanted to treat his friends with the Shawinigan Handshake. 

At the time, the beer was sold only in draft during an Octoberfest at the brewery's bar.
But Chrétien insisted and Tremblay eventually bottled the Shawinigan Handshake with a label showing Chrétien choking the devil. Montreal illustrator Dominic Philibert created the drawing. 

"Mr. Chrétien is known for his funny personality and he has made fun of this incident in the past," Tremblay said, noting he appreciates the politician's endorsement of his beer.

The handshakee, Bill Clennett, doesn't think it's funny at all. "It's quite extraordinary to trivialize his behaviour only to sell beer," he said. "It's pitiful"

I doubt he will be sharing a beer with the former PM anytime soon.

Do vegetarians buy BBQs?

Of course some do. You can do amazing things with grilled vegetables and mushrooms.

But this flyer, from a local distributor for BBQing.com, seems to be betting not only that its potential customers are not vegetarians, but also that they hate PETA.

Now, I am not a vegetarian and I do dislike PETA's marketing tactics and extremism. This brand is probably making a smart strategic move by targeting guys (let's face it) who eat lots of meat and like to feel obnoxious about it. Canadian Tire and Home Depot can't do this, because they have to appeal to everyone. These guys can afford to be assholes.

By the way, if the "mashed potatoes" gag seems familiar it's because this billboard has been floating around the internet forever:

But if you're going to wear that statement around, you might as well get the original.

Would a Freddy Mercury, by any other name, have sung as sweetly?

What's in a name? According to India's Albert Dali "Naming Consultants", everything.

Focussing on the naming aspect of branding, they say they do "Name Researching, Name Crafting, Name Auditing, Domain Booking, Trademarking and even Name Numerology[?]" Which are all important things to get right, in this day and age.

But back to Freddy. How much did his success really depend on his Nom de Glam? In his case probably quite a lot.

The other three examples of famous name changes in this campaign (found on Ads of The World) are Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jeane Mortenson/Baker), George Orwell (Eric Arthur Blair), and Le Corbusier (Charles-Édouard Jeanneret). For the first two, the name change was simply to invoke the personal brand they wanted to express, while Le Corbusier just wanted to sound cool. But what about Freddy?

Born in Zanzibar, ફારોખ બલ્સારા‌ (Farrokh Bulsara) was the son of Indian Parsis — descendants of Iranian Zoroastrians who long ago settled in India. He took on the "Mercury" name around the time he named Queen. (I asume he had been going by "Freddie" for some time, as he had been living in England since age 17.)

Today, I find Freddie Mercury's ethnic and religious background fascinating. As a child in the 70s, I had no idea he was anything but ethnically British. Then again, as a prepubescent boy I didn't even know he was bi. (The '70s were like that.) While his sexuality should have been obvious, I think his ethnicity was played fairly low-key.

Which makes me wonder: would British, American, and other "Western" fans have been as entranced by a man named Farrokh Bulsara? By a name that is strange and foreign to their ears? Could he have been all that and kept his original identity? And is it evidence of perceived racism?

We'll never know. The name Mercury was his choice, and the man was going through a pretty serious identity crisis at the time. But I also wonder if he could have made a go at it, with more attention to his "exotic" background, in the 21st century.

Whoa. This dumb little ad made me think way too much. Occupational hazard.

More unintentionally disgusting branding

Via Buzzfeed

Urban Dictionary: Cleveland Steamer (not for the squeamish)

It's not as obscure as most coprophilic sex acts defined on UD. This one entered popular culture via Tenacious D:

Beer with (asshole) attitude

That's what "Stronzo"means in Italian, not literally, but in colloquial use.

See Granny's full beefcake shoot here.

Doc Guerilla (Facebook) tipped me off that this Danish beer with the rude Italian name is being launched in Italy. I'm not really sure what the ad is supposed to be about. Is she the asshole? (In which it should be "stronza".), or is she an older lady who really digs young douchebags?

Looking for other examples of brand advertising didn't make things any clearer:

Via Wordpress

Oh well, European advertising has always confused me. I'll just hold out for a Vaffanculo Lager.

The choice of this generation sucks #FdAdFriday

Not the King of Pop

AdFreak tells us that Pepsi let lapse one of their most famous taglines, the one they paid Michael Jackson gajillions of dollars to promote back when I was a teen:



To capture the imaginations of the current generation of teens, the slogan has been snapped up by... Better Oats?



Oh, man. It may be a healthier option, but this generation's marketing sure does suck.

Creating an international symbol for homebirth

Emma Kwasnica, the now-famous breastfeeding activist, shared this interesting link on Facebook.

Apparently, the Peaceful Parenting blog has been trying to crowdsource a symbol that homebirth advocates and organizations could use as an identifier. It's a good idea, since causes need symbols just like nations need flags.

A good bar has been set, both in similar cause and public acceptance, by the "you're welcome to breastfeed here" signs that are now common.

Here is an explanation of how they are doing it:

"The finalists for the International Homebirth Symbol have been chosen by a panel of birth and babies professionals and mothers alike (see panel members here). They are presented here for your vote. Graphics are drafts and may be brushed up or altered slightly for finalization. Color/shade will also be voted on publicly once the symbol is selected. All are presented here in the same shade for voting purposes only. Artists will remain anonymous to the panel and public until voting is complete. The top symbols will go on to Round Three where they will be voted on by a panel of graphic design artists."

I like that they are putting these forward as abstract symbols, without consideration for colour or perfection of execution.

In situations like these, I try to ask myself WWPAD? (What Would Paul Arthur Do?). The sadly-missed godfather of pictograms, signage and wayfinding could have really helped these folks. I briefly knew the man,  who famously decided it was a good idea to use symbols instead of "men" and "women" at Expo 67 — something we cannot today imagine a world without. (He was my S-I-L Laura's stepfather.) But since he died when I was just starting to enter the fullness of my creative career, I never got to work with him professionally. Instead, I am inspired by skimming his books and reading others' memories, like this frank critique of proposed icons for the "World Wide Web."

I am no designer — and certainly no Paul. But I would like to bring this interesting exercise to the attention of my fellow professionals.

Here are the entries:

A: I get it, but it has an unfortunate resemblance to the internet shock meme goatse man.
(If you don't know what that is, you're lucky. Here's the Wikipedia link.

B: Sweet, but says "healthy pregnancy" more than "birth" to me.

C: The addition of the partner is nice, but not inclusive.
Single women and gay women also homebirth, an the supporter is not always a partner.

D: Not bad. I like the "yoga" look and the simplicity.
I only wish the house icon were simpler.

E: Too abstract for me. Pretty sure this would fail comprehension tests.

F: A literal attempt to say "home birth". Kind of confusing.
I also associate realistic foetus silhouettes with anti-abortion causes.

G: A nice thought, but overly simplistic.
The heart as mother and child has been done before, and does not necessarily
communicate "birth".

H: As with others, this shows motherhood but could be post-partum at home.

I: Getting closer, but the shapes might not be 100% clear.

J: The "woman birthing" icon is clearer, but looks a little nuclear.
The lines in the house are superfluous.

K: The human idea is communicated well, and the style could easily be simplified.
Not sure if the window is intuitive enough (would need to be tested) but it's nice to
see something other than the obvious house icon.

L: Overly abstract, like G, but with more of a "birthing" feel.

M: An attempt to make pictograms out of "H" and "B".
Besides being really abstract, it is language exclusive,
and not international.

N: Like the breastfeeding symbol, but with umbilical cord and house added.
Might lead to confusion with the BF symbol, and cord might be too subtle
to communicate the moment of birth.

O: This says "loving nuclear family" to me, not birth.
Also has the same heteronormative issue as C.

P: A "primitive" (petroglyph-inspired) symbol that says "motherhood"
more than anything. No implication of "birth" and "home".

And no, folks, I am not being too mean. I am actually being very gentle, in Creative Director trms, because I know that these are earnest efforts by people from a variety of backgrounds.

But that's the whole problem here. Functional design, such as this, should never be croudsourced or contested. It should be developed by specialized professionals, and tested extensively in controlled market research, to make sure it is understood.

The opinions I gave above are just first reactions — the kind of advice I would give to designers at an initial creative review, to help them refine their ideas and avoid wasting time on non-starters (like M).

Since Peaceful Parenting have already committed to this selection process, they can't stop now. But if they want to stand any chance of having the result widely adopted as a recognized symbol of homebirth, I hope they will turn the results over to professionals for final design, testing, and change if needed.

Trust me, it's the right thing to do. Because when symbolic logos fail, they fail hard.

A brand worth dying for?

Branding junk food as bad for you is a common trend these days, but a customer tucking in to a "Double Bypass Burger" coincidentally suffered a heart attack right in the Las Vegas restaurant.



According to Wikipedia,

The establishment is a hospital theme restaurant: waitresses ("nurses") take orders ("prescriptions") from the customers ("patients"). A tag is wrapped on the patient's wrist showing which foods they order and a "doctor" examines the "patients" with a stethoscope. The menu includes "Single", "Double", "Triple", and "Quadruple Bypass" hamburgers,[1] ranging from 8 to 32 ounces (230 to 910 g) of beef (up to about 8,000 calories), all-you-can-eat "Flatliner Fries" (cooked in pure lard), beer and tequila, and soft drinks such as "Jolt" and Mexican-bottled Coca-Cola made with real sugar.[2] Customers over 350 lb (160 kg) in weight eat for free if they weigh in with a doctor or nurse before each burger.

Eater  recognizes the possibility that this was a ("incredibly sad and evil") publicity stunt, and adds that the man is reported to have survived.

Owner "Doctor" Jon Basso told FOX5 he felt ‘horrible’ for the man.

“Tourists were taking photos of him as if it were some type of stunt,” Basso said. “Even with our own morbid sense of humor, we would never pull a stunt like that.”

(He added that there have been a “variety of incidents” at the restaurant, but this was the first full-scale coronary.)

Let's hope the staff get medical training along with their uniforms:

By the way, February is Heart Month.

Are these golden arches untouchable?

We've seen logos done with flowers on embankments before. But with this evil-minded idea, Sean Click proposes a guerrilla form of brand creep that leaves a permanent mark on the landscape.

According to his site, he would design the logo using seeds of the California poppy, and:

"Since the California poppy is the state flower, the legislature has protected the plant. It is illegal to pick, destroy, or dig up a California poppy."

 Ha ha ha. But the joke is on Sean. Just like the trillium here in Ontario, the California poppy is no more protected than any other plant on public land. (You're not supposed to pick anything there, unless you are authorized to do so.)

Not to mention that poppies are prolific self seeders (like McDonalds, they are an invasive species in Europe). Even if left alone by state landscapers, the M would turn into a big yellow blob pretty soon anyway.

Tip via Buzzfeed

Boozy baby bottles

Italian artist Anna Utopia Giardino has created this series of bottles that mash up popular alcohol and kids' brands, and outfits them with baby bottle nipples in case you missed the point.

Here is the artist's statement:

"The bottles are NOT for sale, they are part of an art exhibition. This is an art project to raise social awareness on topics such as alcohol abuse by teens, alcohol abuse by pregnant women, the disinterest of some parents towards their children (abandoned for days between toys and video games), how far marketers can go to gain the attention of their younger customers. There are no commercial purposes."

Personally, I think that they would have been better without the nipples. (Which marks the first time in history that art has not been improved by showing nipples.)

First seen on Copyranter. Full collection via Laughing Squid.

F'd Ad Fridays: My House Fungus

My friend Rachel shared this one:

Unless you're a Smurf, "fungus" is something you usually want to keep out of your home. Even if "it can bring you the endless fun".

Fishing Lure or Sex Toy?

The funny thing about branding is what it tells you about the target market. In the case of fishing gear, that market includes some rather unsophisticated guys who use a lot of sexualized language and imagery when discussing their favourite sport. The result is brand names that sound... well... dirty.

Click the list of brand names below to see pictures of the products they promote. But before you click, try to guess if it's a lure or a sex toy. You might be surprised.

(And, it should go without saying, that the sex toy images may not be appropriate for the workplace, library, or a computer you share with your mom.)

Atomic Teaser

Thriller

Invader

Black Fury

Slurpies Flippin' Tube

Dardevle

Dominator

Doc Johnson

Magnum

French Hook

Wow No. 3

Giant Thunderstick

Booty Call

Slab Daddy

Vibratex

Swedish Pimple

Mud Bug

Heddon Torpedo

Wally Diver

Double Dawg

Big Teaze

Hustler Escort Series

12" Titan Tube