Is "One Million Moms" a PR agency in disguise?

You know, I'm starting to wonder if this "One Million Moms" organization is really a brilliant PR agency that creates strawman (or rather, straw women) that put their clients' brands in the media, leading to great success.

Seriously, everything they protest turns to gold. Look at Ellen and JC Penney. You cannot buy that kind of media and consumer love.

Their latest coup (if indeed I am correct) is getting the "gay wedding" issue of Archie to completely sell out, by demanding that Toys R Us pull it from their shelves.

I mean, here is a comic book franchise that lost its relevance to pop culture decades ago, when the characters were kidnapped by fundamentalist Al Hartley and turned into my generation's version of Chick Tracts.

Times sure have changed, and now the mainstream series embraces diverse sexuality. And this is there moment.

Here is the press release call-to-arms about the Archie issue:

Toys 'R' Us Selling Same-Sex Marriage 'Archie' Comics 

Select Toys 'R' Us stores are now selling 'Archie' comic books with a same-sex wedding displayed on the front cover. The front cover reads "Just Married" with two men marrying and one is wearing a service uniform. This comic book is being sold in select stores across the country. One example is the Queensbury, NY location in the upstate New York area.
Toys 'R' Us employees do not actually set up the displays; they leave this up to the vendor, but they should be aware of the merchandise being sold in their stores nonetheless. These comic books are sold at the front checkout counters so they are highly visible to employees, managers, customers and children. Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary. 

A trip to the toy store turns into a premature discussion on sexual orientation and is completely uncalled for. Toys 'R' Us should be more responsible in the products they carry. 

TAKE ACTION 

Please send Toys 'R' Us an email letter requesting they remove all the same-sex "Just Married - Archie" comic books immediately from their shelves.

 Now, in case you want to start investing in the next brands to benefit from the OMM treatment, they are demanding to protest Clorox over the threesome implied in the hilarious new Liquid Plumr ad, and Disney/ABC over the "anti-Christian" TV program Good Christian Belles.

Ellen DeGeneres, 1; One Million Moms, 0

From One Million Moms:

Recently JC Penney announced that comedian Ellen Degeneres will be the company's new spokesperson. Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families. More sales will be lost than gained unless they replace their spokesperson quickly. Unless JC Penney decides to be neutral in the culture war then their brand transformation will be unsuccessful. 

Their marketing strategy is to help families shop and receive a good value for their money. Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of JC Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales.
JC Penney has made a poor decision and must correct their mistake fast to retain loyal customers and not turn away potential new, conservative shoppers with the company's new vision. 

"Importantly, we share the same fundamental values as Ellen," said Michael Francis, president of J.C. Penney Company in a press statement. "At JC Penney, we couldn't think of a better partner to help us put the fun back into the retail experience. Moving forward, we'll be focused on being in sync with the rhythm of our customers' lives and operating in a 'Fair and Square' manner that is rooted in integrity, simplicity and respect. We're thrilled that she's joining our team to help convey the exciting transformation under way." 

"They have an incredible vision for the future and are completely re-inventing themselves to become America's favorite store," said DeGeneres in a press statement.

By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon, JC Penney is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years. 

TAKE ACTION
Make a personal phone call to JC Penney's customer service department. Their numbers are 972-431-8200 (customer service) and 972-431-1000 (corporate headquarters).
Ask JC Penney to replace Ellen Degeneres as their new spokesperson immediately and remain neutral in the culture war. 

"Neutral"? Hilarious! Neutrality would mean accepting that sexual orientation has nothing to do with the issue.

But I love the way OMM quote JC Penney and DeGeneres as if we're supposed to be outraged. JC Penney has made an excellent move in striking up a partnership with a celebrity who gay and straight people alike love for her humour and intellect.

According to Reuters:

"DeGeneres' daytime talk show has more viewers than the American Family Association has moms. Between January 16 and January 22, "Ellen" averaged 3.38 million viewers -- or 2.38 million more people than the AFA has moms."

And then she totally owned them with this statement:

Give it up, one million morons. Your relevance has passed.