"Depressed Copywriter" is actually hilarious

It's a new advertising Tumblr. And some of the posts are depressingly funny:

It's like he or she is posting from inside every burnt out Copywriter's poundingly hung over mind.

Check out the whole psychological mess here.

Via Copyranter

Walgreens really wants you to buy this sex toy #FdAdFriday

As "America's online pharmacy", Walgreens.com of course has a "sexual wellness" section. But in addition to condoms and lube, they sell toys. Including toys for boys. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but this particular item, the Tenga Flip Hole for Male Masturbation Black, has gone viral for its particularly graphic product description:

"Tenga Flip Hole is designed to be the best male masturbator on the market. The Tenga Flip hole is deliberately not a simple artificial vagina - it is better. Filled with silicone ribs; nubs; gates; flaps; and pumps; the Tenga Flip Hole has an astonishing complex inside shape. Every centimeter of it has a particular function. Its flexible casing with buttons allows a total control of the stimuli. Flip Hole is the first masturbator that can open itself completely. For this reason it's really easy to clean and to always keep it hygienic. The Tenga Flip Hole Black provides a tighter interior sleeve for a noticibly different feel from the Flip Hole White."

I am not letting that thing within 100 metres of my johnson...

And of course, with the added attention, come the trolling "product reviews":

"For the value it's much better than the Fleshlight
My Fleshlight had to be replaced after it sprung a leak and the Flip Hole was just what I was looking for. Sleek and modern design with quality construction at an affordable price and clean up is a breeze!
The Flip Hole is definitely the only male masturbation tool I will ever use again. Say goodbye to the stranger and hello to the Tenga Flip Hole!" 

- Vas Deferens 

"LOOOVE IIIIIT
Pros: cheaper than a real date, no conversation needed
this is amazing" 

- JWOW

Unfortunately, this item appears to be sold out. But this isn't the only Tenga male masturbation product in the online catalogue; the Tenga Deep Throat Cup for Male Masturbation is still available and the Tenga Double Hole Cup for Male Masturbation is even on sale!

Who could resist the latter, after reading this copy:

"Tenga Double Hole male masturbation cup provides double the enjoyment. This cup features two holes; allowing you to enjoy different types of sensual sensations - the 'Bitter Side' and the 'Sweet Side'. The 'Bitter Side' firmly tightens while the "Sweet Side" gently clings to your member. Normal use is one side at a time. But; using both sides of this cup simultaneously transports you to the virtual world of a 'hreesome'."

Hreesome?

On that note, have a great weekend.

Tip via Crushable 

How to make money writing short paragraphs (in the days before Twitter)

This unprovenanced ad for piecework copywriters was posted on BoingBoing. I'd love to repurpose it the next time we're hiring word people. "No tedious study."

What he's actually doing is selling you a series of books on writing for things like greeting cards and (I assume) tiny classified ads. If you're interested, there's a box of them on Ebay right now.

Ironically, there is also a long copy advertorial version I found here.

A Google search also turned up this one in an early-70s issue of Ebony:

Note that the Ebony insertion lacks Barrett's creepy mug, unlike this one in a 1973 Bangor Daily.